Thoughts on the 26th of December

1) Last night was my first first night of Chanukah. I bought a menorah last week and pretty blue and white Chanukah candles. I got the BF off the sofa, said the prayers (in Hebrew) and lit the candle. I was actually very moved by it. It has been difficult for me to bring Judaism into my daily life. It’s one thing to study it and be excited by what I’m reading and the thought of participating, but to actually reorder my life to include the Sabbath and the kashrut laws is proving to be surprisingly difficult. I have it in my head that I can’t “do” the Sabbath unless everything is perfect. But, in my conversation last week with a Rabbi, he reminded me that making the attempt is just as important. Yes, it would be nice if everything was perfect but, honestly, when has everything EVER been perfect? So, just lighting the first candle of Chanukah is a big deal for me. It’s a small step on this journey I’m taking.

2) In light of Chanukah, I attempted to make rugalach to eat after lighting the candle. The BF asked me to buy some rugalach, in case mine didn’t turn out well. I was miffed but should have listened. Who would have thought that a recipe that called for two sticks of butter AND 8 oz. of cream cheese would be dry? I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t attempt to make the doughnuts. That really would have been a disaster!

3) Merlin went back to the vet today. I took him back in November and found out that he had lost two pounds in 6 months. Not good. Today, the BF actually went with me – which shows how worried he was. We found out that Merlin hadn’t gained any weight since the last time he was there, but he hadn’t lost any either, which was good. His mouth still looks good so he didn’t need a depo shot – which he had been getting every month for about 2 years up until September. I just have to give him antibiotics for a week. We’ll be taking him in for an ultrasound in January since his bloodwork isn’t showing any reason for the weight loss.

4) My parents and brother are coming up this week. This will be the first time EVER that my parents have come up here for the specific reason to see me. Usually they are up here for something else and we get together for a meal or something. The BF has always been upset because he feels they treat me like an afterthought – “Oh, since we will be in the area seeing So-an-so, we might as well call Nemeria!” Granted, this time they are coming to give me furniture that has been in storage in the ‘burg for the last year, since they moved away. They finally decided to empty the storage shed and cut final ties with the town they lived in for 37 years. Can’t say I blame them. We will be having a Chanukah dinner here on Friday.

5) Finally, my thoughts are with Pobble, who lost her father on this date several years ago (Pobble, I’m sorry I don’t remember the year!). I remember that we had spent a wonderful afternoon together at Shaker’s – probably sat and talked for over three hours. It was great to catch up with her as I had recently moved to NY and we hadn’t seen each other for quite a while. It was kind of a tradition with us – meet at a restaurant when we were home at the same time and talk for hours. I found out the next day that her father had passed away. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go over? Should I not? What do you do in situations like that? So, my mother made turkey sandwiches for me to take over and I went, not sure what I could do, but certain that I had to at least show Pobble I cared enough to make sure she was okay. I remember being furious at people visiting who couldn’t stop crying and seemed to expect Pobble and her family to comfort THEM, rather than the other way around. I don’t understand why people do that. I remember the next day, the 28th, my parents and I were getting ready to leave to take me to the airport when the phone rang and Pobble wanted to know where we got the turkey sandwiches. My first thought was “Oh my God, someone got sick off our sandwiches!” but, no. Our turkey sandwiches were the only food Pobble was able to keep down. I remember wishing I didn’t have to fly back to NY and could stay and make Pobble as many turkey sandwiches as she wanted. I remember wishing I could stay for the services and offer her any comfort I could. I remember thinking the only way I could justify returning to NY then was knowing that Pobble was not alone – that she still had a support group there.

Pobble’s father was a remarkable man. I can see him in her and I know he would be proud of her. Pobble is someone I have always looked up to and admired, someone who’s advice I have always trusted, someone who I have always counted as a friend lo’ these many years (I think we’re up to 26 now!), so I think it is appropriate that I end these thoughts with thoughts of her...

Little Things

In the spirit of Pobble, here are little things that have happened recently that have made me happy/laugh out loud:

1 - First snowfall of the season.

2 - Getting hit on by a dairy truck driver while I'm waiting for the bus bundled up like an Eskimo during the first snowfall of the season (I'm flattered but I'm not turning around so you can see my butt. And thank you for offering me the carton of milk.)

3 - One of the guys I support at work printed out an article for me about how important Administrative Assistants are in the workplace. He told me that I fit the article to a "T" and he was glad I was there. (Have I mentioned that I love my job?)

4 - Isabella took a nap with me on the sofa yesterday.

5 - I got my first Christmas card today.

6 - My BF insisted that I watch 50 First Dates tonight because he had seen it at least 15 times and loved it. Anyone who knows my BF would be dubious but I watched it and loved it. Who would have thought? My slash-em-up-movie BF loves a romantic comedy!

7 - The view from my cubicle. I will never get tired of it and I'm so thrilled that I have it.

8 - I saw my downstairs neighbor yesterday at the building holiday party (the one who is diabetic, wheel-chair bound and unable to speak). She looked lovely in a dark red sweater set and I was thrilled to see her. I didn't realize how much I missed running into her in the evenings. She can't get out much now because of the cold. She'll be getting flowers from me soon.

9 - Merlin. Even though he's a big, furry, pain in the ass (well, not so big now. He's down two pounds in 6 months and the vet isn't sure what's wrong with him.) He whines, and cries, and pokes me in the face but his eyes just make me melt when he looks at me.

10 - The laser light show at Grand Central. Cheesy, yes. But it makes me feel like a kid again, every time I see it.

I'm sure there's more. There is always more.