Feeding a Finicky Feline

Ah, the things we do for love...

1st Attempt:
1. Open designated cat food cabinet.
2. Choose a can of cat food.
3. Place food in dish.
4. Place dish on floor.
5. Watch cat sniff disdainfully and walk away.

2nd Attempt:
1. Open designated cat food cabinet.
2. Choose a different flavor and brand of cat food.
3. Notice food is a chunky variety.
4. Place food in mini blender/chopper/mixer.
5. Puree cat food until consistency of thick soup.
6. Scrape cat food soup into another dish.
7. Place dish on floor.
8. Watch cat sniff disdainfully and walk away.

3rd Attempt:
1. Open refrigerator.
2. Remove minimally processed (no nitrates added) sliced turkey breast.
3. Take out two pieces of said turkey breast.
4. Sit on floor, tear turkey into bits and attempt to hand feed turkey to cat.
5. Watch cat sniff disdainfully and walk away.

4th Attempt:
1. Open freezer.
2. Remove 1 frozen (and Food Savered) slice of salmon filet.
3. Defrost then cook salmon in microwave.
4. Cut salmon into small (very small) chunks.
5. Place chopped up salmon on a plate.
6. Place plate on floor.
7. Watch cat sniff disdainfully and walk way.

5th Attempt:
1. Open freezer.
2. Remove 1 frozen (and Food Savered) chicken breast tender.
3. Defrost chicken in microwave.
4. Grill chicken on Foreman Grill.
5. Chop up chicken into very fine bits using the mini blender/chopper/mixer.
6. Place chopped up chicken in yet another dish.
7. Place dish on floor.
8. Watch cat sniff disdainfully, look up mournfully, retreat under bed.

6th Attempt:
1. Open people food cabinet.
2. Remove can of tuna.
3. Place tuna in mini blender/chopper/mixer.
4. Puree into tuna soup.
5. Place tuna soup into still another bowl.
6. Place bowl on paper plate.
7. Place bowl and paper plate under the bed.
8. Listen to cat chow down the tuna.
9. Rush around and getready for work.
10. Remember, two hours later while sitting at office desk, that you forgot to remove the bowl of tuna from under the bed.
11. Come home 9 hours later and discover your bedroom now smells like tuna.