Saturday, September 10, 2005

No more, please.

I've spent the last two days attempting to be in a news blackout. I just can't take it anymore. The dead, the dying, the displaced. The abandoned animals, the separated families. It's just too much to bear. And here I sit worried about my job and whether or not I can deal with the idea of being an administrative assistant.

But sometimes it is just easier to deal with petty personal problems than try to comprehend and process major catastrophes. And I just can't deal with what is going on down south.

This must be kin to what people away from NYC and DC felt after 9/11. They couldn't possibly understand what we went through here. And yet, I still had a home to go to once the trains finally started leaving Grand Central again. I can't fathom what those poor souls are feeling. Will they ever have a home to return to?

And the politicians just make it worse. Every. Single. Day. I'm sick of hearing/reading/seeing a politician making some asinine statement about the situation. As if the young kids playing ball in a shelter are really happy to be there and are really having a good time. Maybe it is "kinda fun" but I think they would prefer to be playing ball in their own damn yards.

And the bodies. Oh, the bodies. Like some horrid movie. I remember thinking, while watching all of the 9/11 coverage, that the movie directors got it wrong. In the movies, buildings that collapsed never looked like the Twin Towers coming down.

Isabella sometimes hides from me by hiding her face. If she can't see me, then I can't see her. How I wish that were true in this case. I wish that my changing the channel meant that everything went back to normal, that my refusing to see meant that it didn't exsist, that it never happened.

I don't want to know that travesties such as this happen here. Where I live. I know that's an awful thing to say/think/feel. As if we Americans are somehow so much better than the rest of the world. Like we're all NIMBYs. But we aren't. We're all over the place, giving aid to everyone but ourselves. Thank goodness for the outpouring of help from everyone in the country and all over the world.

I know I have to start watching again, I should be informed about what's going on in my country, in the world. I'll watch again on Monday. Just not right now.

I take comfort in Waiter Rant's most recent post "The God who Drowns." It made me think of my father, who always chased the monsters away.

Would that he could do that now.

1 Comments:

At 8:35 PM, Blogger dondon009 said...

I completely understand how you feel. I was so emotionally drained last Monday, I couldn't write a word on my blog, and I could hardly work. I read nothing for three days, but then I knew I had to read again. I had to know what was going on, and I had to somehow make my feelings heard. It's a healing process. The animals worry me terribly. They have no voice!

 

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